Purple Can Wait :)

I am sure we are familiar with this charming poem by Jenny Joseph. According to the Scottish Poetry Library:

Voted Britain’s favourite poem, ‘Warning’, written in 1961, is known and loved the world over for its message of old age as a time for indulgence and fun. In the poem’s respectable middle-aged woman, as she imagines herself in old age as a cheeky rebel with outrageous clothes and dotty behaviour, poet Jenny Joseph has created a character whose thoughts have been quoted at conferences and funerals, used to cheer up sick friends and remembered with pleasure by children and adults alike around the world (https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/warning/)

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

For years I've kept a tea towel with the poem in my closet as fair warning to my girls: my day is coming, so be warned!. 

The delicious irony? The age of purple-wearing rebellion keeps receding like a elusive horizon.

In my twenties, I imagined the poem was about fifty-somethings. By my forties, clearly it described women in their sixties. Now, solidly in my sixties myself, I'm absolutely certain it's meant for the eighty-plus.

Because old age? I'm nowhere near it yet, I insist!

I don't feel old. I don't feel elderly. I still wake up wanting to dance and —(well, let's leave some mystery...). When I spot those "elderly" signs in airports, on toilets, in queues and train seats, I glance around wondering who they're for. Certainly not me.  

You see I still power through airports keeping pace with the young ones, always aiming to be first to the immigration queue. I still travel solo because—honestly—isn't that the superior way? No accountability, no delays, no debates about which museum to visit.

I'm still curiouser and curiouser about the world, still actively wanting to learn everything I can get my hands on.

I still love to dance.  I still get entirely too invested in K-drama storylines...

Yes, I've conceded to salt and pepper hair—but that's called style, not surrender. 

Yet society persists in calling me elderly. Senior citizen.  When a younger friend politely refers to me as "Aunty" - or worse yet, Poh-Poh - I cringe and die a little inside...

Perhaps I need to start practicing now—just a little—so when I finally do reach old age somewhere in my nineties, the transition to purple won't be quite so shocking.

Season's greetings all, and Happy New Year.  Wishing all a year of purpose, progress and prosperity...

I am always with you

A dear friend of many years departed this world suddenly and unexpectedly. His family and friends, their hearts heavy with grief, are struggling to find solace. Though we understand death to be an inevitable passage in life's journey, we yearn for reassurance—some gentle confirmation that he had found peace and light in the world beyond. 

During the darkest days of the pandemic, when countless friends took their final breath, I penned these words for my own solace and shared with their loved ones.  So I turn to them now once more... 

Do not weep dear loved ones
I am near God
nearer than ever before
Nearer to God’s bounty
embraced in God’s grace

Do not be sad dear ones
this is but a temporary separation
it is truly a messenger of joy

Know that I am happy
now reunited with long lost family and friends
in this divine realm

Importantly be happy dear ones
Be happy that I am continuing to progress
in an eternal journey towards perfection
where I will develop spiritual qualities and capacities
where I will learn to begin to manifest 

the signs of God and His attributes even more

to reveal His loving kindness and bounty

Remember do not weep dear ones
I am still with you
In the mornings, waking chimes and stirring sounds
I am the birds chirping
I am the leaves fluttering
I am the sun on the flowers in our garden

I am the breeze that caress your skin
I am the quiet waters that flow gently
I am the gentle monsoon rain that brings you relief
I am the distant stars that glow in the night

Be happy
Be of service to others
Embrace life
Pursue your dreams
Follow your heart’s desire
Live everyday to the fullest

Remember me in your prayers
As I watch over you and our beloved
And know that I will always be with you
I am always with you...

My Sister, My Best Friend

As the year begins to wind down, I’ve found myself in a quiet, reflective space, looking back on the months behind us and wondering what the future holds. Throughout these contemplations, one theme keeps surfacing: the enduring bond between sisters.

In recent years, my travel patterns have shifted. While my holidays used to be centered almost entirely around my immediate family, the home front demands have softened, leaving me with the headspace to explore new sources of joy. This has opened a door to traveling with my sisters—a truly wonderful way to unwind.

We recently went away together again and it was such a gift. We spent our days wandering through museums and savouring local delicacies, but the real magic was in the connection. We joked and laughed endlessly, we reminisced with joy and sadness, we celebrated each other's accomplishments, we spoke about our longings and our hopes, sharing things we could only say to one another. There is such a profound serenity in being known so deeply; there is no judgment, no "I told you so," just the simple, pure enjoyment of each other's company.

It felt as though the stars were aligning when a very dear friend, Kee E-lene, published her labour of love entitled 'My Sister, My Best Friend'. As the younger sister, she wrote this heartfelt love letter as a gift for her sister’s 60th birthday. It’s a gorgeously illustrated book, and was launched at ‘The Library by BookXcess’ in Kuala Lumpur, surrounded by family and friends.

https://www.bookxcess.com/products/my-sister-my-best-friend

In her own words,

This story highlights the unique connection between two sisters and chronicles some of their shared stories. My Sister, My Best Friend inspires and evokes a profound sense of warmth and comfort – particularly for its young readers. Told through the eyes of the naughtier younger sister (the Author, Kee E-lene), these true stories from childhood more than fifty years ago through to adulthood sparkle with laughter, mischief, and the timeless magic of family. From daring rescues to everyday moments of care (and a few ‘lawyerly’ threats at adulthood), this beautifully illustrated book about the powerful bond of sibling love - sisterly love - reminds us all to love with courage, live with gratitude, and keep growing hearts big enough to hold it all.

Seeing her tribute reminded me that relationships like these don't happen by accident. They are the fruit of a supportive family environment where parents guide their children toward a life of devotion, virtue, and service. Through the quiet pattern of daily life and countless conversations, our parents nurtured in us the qualities and habits that allow sisterhood to flourish.  Crucially, they created a space that was loving and nurturing rather than competitive. Whether in the tiny details of a daily chat or during the major milestones of our lives, we learnt to genuinely celebrate and support one another. These bonds of love and unity offer a lifetime of upliftment—a steady bulwark against the petty jealousies that can sometimes pull families apart. 

As I look toward the new year, I feel very deeply grateful to my parents and my sisters - and my brother - who is a gem of a sibling too - for this foundation of love.